


You look so good in pink.

by wickedesthonktraband



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 05:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20736704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedesthonktraband/pseuds/wickedesthonktraband
Summary: Sometimes, growing is painful. But you do it anyway, learning alot in the process.





	You look so good in pink.

_ She first sees her on the other side of the room, she hoped she wasn’t staring too long-she hadn’t been sure why she was in the first place. When she smiles, she smiles back, looking away quickly. _

Not everything came easy for her, it’s constant work trying to get better but she’s trying her best to not erode back into her old habits. It’s struggle, give and take and tears cried at intervals for lost chances and new opportunities. She wasn’t really sure if she could do it, even still but she did her best. Help her she was trying so hard to be better, she hopes that it doesn’t go unnoticed. 

The first months were maybe the roughest of all of them, filled with paranoia and that painful shift into the new trying to grasp that she wasn’t being used in some way. That she wasn’t going to be abandoned this time, it’s not easy to accept back then anymore than it is now but…

_ She’s sitting across the room, twiddling her fingers as the three diamonds addressed their race over the stream feed. Sometimes being here could be so boring when the diamonds weren’t showering her with affection she wasn’t really sure what all to do with herself. _

_ Then she hears that laugh drizzled over the air like sweet honey and she feels herself turning to find the source of the noise, and for some reason… _

_ For some reason she felt the tiniest hint of a grin grow across her face looking off to see three pearls talking amongst themselves. (She wondered if at all maybe, they had been teasing about the diamonds. She wanted desperately to know what Pink Pearl had been laughing about. She hoped maybe she could make her laugh about it again more. What a funny thought to have, she remarks to herself.) _

  
  


Things were alot different now than she ever would have thought them to be before, that much was true at the very least. If there was something that, when the going got tough, she knew the stability to be found in the great behemoth of experience that rampaged its way through her life now was the very fact that _ change _ is inherent through all of it. She hoped, This time, for the best. 

_ When she sees that smile on her face from across the room her good eye turning to look back at her and giving the gentlest of waves she’ was sure that it had to be, something warm nuzzles its way deep in her gem and deep magenta pink crosses her features. ‘Shoot.’ she takes in a sharp breath, casting her eyes back to the ground away from her. ‘Don’t go creepin’ her out now you kindergarten wreck.’ _

_ She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t stop smiling, her cheeks began to sting amongst the warmth that covered her like a warm wool blanket. _

She knows that growing is a hard thing to do, some days all she wants is to lay down and not get back up again. Then she comes into her mind, and all she can do is get back up and keep trying again.

‘_ D’you ever miss her Pearl?’ _

_ ‘Sometimes’ _

_ ‘Is it wrong for me to miss her? Even if i hate her? I don’t want to do it-neither of those dumb things but, I dont know.’ she looks off into nothing, her feet dangling over the edge of the balcony overlooking the gem city beneath them. ‘Sometimes I have all these big _ ** _stupid_ ** _ feelings that I don’t..’ her breath hitches, why did talking have to be so hard? ‘Sometimes I have all these feelings in my head that just won’t go away.’ _

_ Nobody says anything, Pink pearl closes her eye and gently exhales. Everything she did held such an air of beautiful grace to it, like a dance eternal. Spinel could get lost for hours being with her, when she feels Pearl’s hand gently rest on top of hers tears cascade thickly down her cheeks. ‘Sorry I just-’ _

_ ‘It’s not stupid, I promise it’s not Spinel.’ _

_ Nobody says anything for a few hours afterwards, they just sit there and bask in the light of the false sun of homeworld together. _

  


She’s not sure how she could’ve been so lucky as to become friends with the gem that she had, she’s still not convinced her worth as a gem actually exists all the way. Pink Pearl lights up something in her though, she can feel hours slip into something more sempiternal feeling chimerical and like each minute instead were years spent at a time. 

  
  


_ She’s in a room with them, all the pearls. They invited her to a private party with all of them naming her an honorary Pearl to join in. Yellow and Blue Pearl have back and forth together on gossip with their respective diamonds and the three of them laugh when White comes up, she’s happy to be there with them even if there’s a kernel of nervousness in her that she’s a third wheel or..maybe a fourth wheel in this case. _

_ Pink Pearl must have noticed though, she seemed to notice alot with her over the weeks she’s been getting to know her, like there’s a bond the two have that let her know when something was up for better or for worse. Because she had reached out her hand to pull her over and eagerly wrapped her arms around Spinel’s shoulders to properly introduce her to the others. _

_ She never felt so included before. _

There are days where things are harder, they feel less impossible as time goes on with the gems she had supporting her now. Pink Pearl seemed to make them go away the most, she could wander endlessly looking at that beautiful smile on her face. She could feel maladaptive daydreams collapse and turn to thoughts of how much she would love to keep seeing Pink Pearl laugh and smile for the rest of time. 

  


‘Aw shoot I’m **real** sorry if this was a dumb idea and all I know it’s kinda goofy um.” she laughs, shoot, why did she have to feel like the whole universe was pressing down on her right now. Her cheeks burn brightly and she takes a gloved hand to rub against the back of her head anxiously, the hairs still tickle her through her glove. “It’s just..when you really like someone on earth Steven told me you give them uh.” she coughed “you give them um, flowers so I..aw jeeze this was stupid I’m sorry I-”

She laughs, she laughs and holds them deep to her face inhaling in the scent of purple lilacs and lavender. “Spinel, they’re perfect.”

She can’t stop smiling.

Every day is work, she knows that, but something about that Pearl made it feel so much more easier. She wanted to be better for her more than anything.

She wonders if there’s something a little more potent than just friendship when she’s with her. 


End file.
